3jks: (junsu)
[personal profile] 3jks
Title: A Walk With Memories of Middle School
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance & slight angst
Length: One Shot Series
Summary: A reminiscing moment for Katrice as she notices couples everywhere and examines her first real experience as a couple.

Downtown on a Saturday afternoon is always busy. However, when there's 3 inches of snow on the sidewalks plus road constructions being done, downtown was even more busier than before with cars, busses and people. Katrice noticed the number of couples that were just being in love by enjoying a nice walk downtown while looking at stores but really they don't give a damn about the stores, they were just in love. Looking at them just made her feel sad. Yes she wants a boyfriend to do that with someday but really, finding a good guy is hard nowadays or any day, especially in a city where most people her age like to party, drink, have one night stands and do pot. However, at this moment as she's walking towards her bus stop to go back to campus, she notices how beautiful downtown actually is. It made her want to go on a nice walk, just to enjoy the falling snow, (even if it was just slush and wet snow) and the view of this beautiful old city.
A breeze came through and at that moment she realized, she wasn't wearing enough clothing to go for a walk on her own. So she got on her bus to go back to campus after a short outing downtown on her own. She's done this before. Walking on her own. She has to admit, it's quite lonely. Last year, when she couldn't find anyone to hang out with for the day, she decided to do a waterfront walk on her own. On that walk as well, she saw many couples, old and new. It made her heart burn with jealousy. A combination of having that time alone to think and the view of the beautiful waterfront along with the couples that she passed by made her think of her own amateur love stories that she encountered during high school.

Katrice thought of Evan first.

Evan Jackson.

Evan Jackson was the guy she dated in middle school.
Pfffh, you can't really call it dating really, Katrice thought. She's right. In grade seven, Katrice decided to take a babysitting course, to earn some income for her own spending money. (With Katrice Hammerson's family, money is always an issue) In that course, Evan Jackson was there. He was shorter than her and Katrice was short to begin with. Around 5'0/5'1" ish. Blonde hair, blue eyes and a very small face with a v-shaped chin. Caucasian and he always wore the same hoodie to school everyday: green camouflage pattern. He wasn't necessarily the most popular in school. (During this time, Katrice had just moved to Canada and was just trying to fit into the school system.) They were doing this course together for a while and Katrice realized that she had been flirting with this guy. Not alot of people at school was particularly fond of Evan but for some reason Katrice liked that Evan was trying to "flirt" with her and she was reciprocating the "flirt." It's weird to talk about flirting while both was at such a young age.
Eventually, as time went by, Katrice and Evan was waiting for their rides after class one day when Evan said,

"I like you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

Or something along those lines. This did happen in middle school. What happened was that Evan confessed to Katrice and asked her to be his girlfriend one way or another. Katrice can't remember exactly if she said yes first or if she told her friends first that Evan said that he liked her and had to contemplate first. However, eventually it happened that they were "dating" per say as dating can happen in middle school. What constituted of them dating was... writing cheesy notes to each other, bringing their group of friends together and talking. Or Katrice would make her group of friends walk a certain way just to see him. As Katrice remembered, there wasn't really much that Evan did in order to see her. But it could be that her memory is screwed or there was really nothing that he did just to see Katrice.
Valentine's Day = Candy Grams in middle school. Katrice was so happy that she was actually going to get something. She was expecting because she had a boyfriend for Valentine's Day. When they came around, she was disappointed that she got none. When school was over and they were hanging out, waiting for their rides to come after school, Evan gave her a box of chocolates.

Come grade eight, they were still so called dating. However, they were a TINY bit more mature. Her friends always thought Evan was weird and creepy but Katrice liked him. At least she thought she did.
See... Katrice liked the attention. That's what happens when you are an only child. And she remembered how she didn't like that Evan wasn't giving her enough attention. So... she made a lie. A lie that she even told her friends...

"I think my parents are making me move to another province."

To be completely honest, she was not totally lying. One day her mother asked if she would be willing to go to this boarding school in another province and that prompted this lie actually.
However, the lie totally got what Katrice wanted. She started to get more attention from Evan. She even received a letter one from him that said along the lines of:
"If you do move to another province, I will be so sad. Please Don't Go. If you do go, I'll find a way to get there."
It made her heart pound every time she read that.

Katrice smiled as she thought of that letter. She still has it somewhere in a box at home where her parents lived.

Eventually, when she finally had enough angst coming from her friends and Evan, she lied again saying, her parents decided not to send her off and keep her here at this school. Katrice expected something like a big hug or something, but Katrice can't remember anything like that at all.

Katrice really can't remember all the details but she did remember when she lied to her mother that she was there to meet a friend when in actually she was out to meet Evan. When her mother found out, Katrice was crying and was ashamed for lying in front of her mother and Evan. The date was horrible as Katrice couldn't stop thinking about the amount of trouble she was in when she went back home.

Katrice remembered on spring break, she was left alone while Evan and his family went to Mexico. When he came back, Katrice was surprised to see that she received a beautiful necklace from him. And then when it was Katrice's birthday, she received a beautiful silver bracelet that had music notes as Evan knew that music was very important.

Katrice also remembered how they broke up. Katrice did it and now that she thought about it, felt so much like a jackass because of it.

It was the summer of grade eight. Or just after school ended. Katrice decided that she has been lying to herself all this time. They met at Starbucks (It was Evan that made Katrice addicted to Coffee at such a young age because they would often meet at Starbucks). They were having a good discussion when Katrice awkwardly said,
"I'm sorry I can't do this anymore. I just don't like you that way anymore. Can we break up?"

"Yeah. It's fine." Katrice remembered Evan's voice. He was obviously hurt. They have been dating for a year and it was really starting to progress. Now that Katrice thought about it, why did she break up with Evan? Was it because her mother found out that day and can't handle anymore of her teasing at the dinner table or... why fool myself. It was because of that. Katrice wanted to slap herself when she came to that realization. She remembered Evan's tone of voice as he said,
"before we go, can I get one last hug from you?"

That's when Katrice realized, they never kissed in that year of dating. Heck, they were only in middle school.

Thinking about Evan now makes her feel like an asshole towards him. He was so nice and considerate to her and he gave her almost everything and anything and Katrice just... broke up with him for a stupid reason as her mother finding out?

I wonder how things would end up like if I continued dating him throughout high school? Would he have turned into a sex-crazed, tattooed, pot-smoking guy if I were still dating him? On the other hand, would I have turned into that kind of girl? Or would we even have lasted high school at all? Katrice wondered as the wet and slush snow continued to fall and the bus stopped at each designated stop.
She remembered in grade twelve when she opened up her time capsule letter to herself from her grade eight self, it was filled about Evan, and pictures of Evan together. The pictures were awkward as they still had the distance between t hem.
Katrice sighed.
Evan was truly the only man so far that loved liked loved liked? loved? appreciated her for her.

Unlike her high school boyfriend. Thinking about that man just made her heart hurt and Katrice did all she could to not think about her.
Amy texted her and Katrice occupied her mind with exchanging their day routines.
It's interesting how a day like today made her think of Evan.

Now Evan is totally different and that made her worried for him but at the same time was fine with it. Mainly because since the last time she facebook stalked him, he has had himself a girlfriend for a very long time now. That made Katrice happy knowing that Evan is now happy with someone else that can really make him happy. Although Katrice wished that drugs, sex and other of that sketchy things was not really involved in that relationship. But who's told Katrice that she had the right to say things in Evan's new relationship? no one, so Katrice had no right. She can only wish.
As the wet slush snow continued to fall,
Katrice wished that Evan would be fine wherever he is with his girlfriend.


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February 2011

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